It’s time men share the housework and sweep their woman’s sorrows away.
You see a working woman today, a smart woman, dressed in a chic business suit, high heels and every strand of hair in place.
She works for those nine hours. She gets her work done. Whatelse would you expect her to do, just go home and put her feet up and unwind from the long tiring day at work? Sadly that’s not the case. She steps into her home and there is a complete transformation. It’s time for her to start with her second shift. She is neck deep into getting the house cleaned , cooking dinner , washing the clothes , and if she happens to be a mother, well chances of her even sitting are bleak. And where is the better half all this while, probably lounging in front of the television!
It’s Universal
This has been a very prominent pattern within the Indian working class. With India ranking 114th in the gender gap it doesn’t come as a surprise. But it is not limited to India; this is a global phenomenon, barring of course a few exceptions.
The statistics from bureau of labor show that women in the US devote twice as much time in cooking and cleaning the house and four times more laundry than a man. And on an average, 48 minutes more in a day, doing household work and 18 mins more taking care of other members of the household, specially child care (which involves bathing and feeding), as compared to a man.
In several surveys conducted it has been seen that women felt they were responsible for most of the chores at home, like cooking, cleaning and washing. If there was a child in the picture, then the child care responsibilities fell on her automatically rather than the husband. Although the situation has changed over the years, more men are getting involved in the household work yet in majority of the cases the work load still falls on the woman. It has also been seen the percentage of men involved in exercise, sports or recreational activities is high than the women’s and men usually are seen to pick up outdoor chores.
Why are women solely responsible for running their homes?
This stems from generations and generations of gender inequality being bred in our society. It is the root cause for this unequal distribution of work in a home.
It has also been argued that it’s in their DNA to be nurturing and caring. There is no disputing that argument but nowhere is it said that nurturing and caring involves washing and scrubbing. Girls from the day they are born are mentally conditioned for these duties and on the other hand, a man grows up thinking that house work is demeaning. Man has always been seen as the breadwinner and the woman is responsible for the home and the children. When the woman stepped out and started working, she wasn’t allowed to let go of her work at home. After all it’s a woman who has to clean and cook. Only a mother can take care of the child. With these set notions of the society women have been made to feel guilty if they are unable to take care of their home and kids.
These ideas are so internalized in the women that their worth is judged on the basis of how well they cook and how clean their homes are. And the people judging are no other than the other women aroundand this outlook does not change even if she is a fulltime working woman.
The repercussions are huge
Not only does it lead to marital discord and disharmony within the family, it also has bad effects on the health of the women. They are mentally and physically pushing themselves to the brink of a breakdown.
How do we address this situation?
It’s time the men and women team up and become equal partners at home.
A woman alone can’t break the double glass ceiling; she will need her partner’s helping hand. And why is it necessary for a man to pitch in at home, for no other reason but to make sure that his life partner is able to succeed and reach her true potential as an individual.
Sherly Sandberg writes in her book, Lean in, that, “When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home…”
It is encouraging to see more men are into cooking in the recent years; this might because of the way men are shown on the television, cooking is being portrayed as a manly task, standing over a grill or a barbeque being shown as macho. But whatever the reason, it’s a positive change nonetheless.
It also goes to show that a change in mind sets is possible. There is progress, slow, but it is there. A good way to sort this situation is to talk to your husband. Sharing with him about how all the work is affecting you and bogging you down and make him realise that if he gets a few chores done around the house it will go a long way in making life easier for you.
To make sure these changes are more pronounced in the next generations we have to make sure that we break the gender bias, make sure girls and boys work as a team and boys grow up without aversion to housework. Housework though a drudgery should be shown as a part of a daily routine rather than something degrading.
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